Teaching Youth Athletes to Be Responsible People

It is human nature for observers to analyze athletes' actions and performances. It is also natural to praise or criticize athletes for what they did and is that is part of being a fan. Wondering why an athlete did something is why there are TV sports analysts, who provide viewers with insight as to not only what happened, but why it happened. They know or pretend to know what athletes were thinking and inform listeners what they believe players were thinking. Common analysts insights are " That is a sign of a tired team," or "They were not mentally prepeared for the game today," or "She was intimidated" or "His inexperience is now showing," and on and on.

Parents and coaches of youth athletes do the same things. They consistently analyze their children's athletic performance. This analysis is often helpful for figuring out the player's future course of practice and is generally a good thing. Adults correctly believe it is part of being parents and coaches to analyze kid's athletic performance so that they can help our kids the next time. However, problems are often created when parents' analysis makes excuses for why their son or daughter did not play well as opposed to accepting the outcome for what it was - a poor performance. "The umpire screwed him," or "She was too tired today" or "His coach is bad and doesn't use him the right way" or "That team has over aged players," and on and on. These are common excuses that parents believe will help their child and them feel better about their child's poor performance. It is also natural and OK for parents to want to ease the psychological burden on their child.

However, creating excuses for poor performance is not good for kids' development. Excuse making becomes contagious and players begin justifying their poor performance with excuses and never accept responsibility for their play. Instead of saying "I had a bad game and I will do better the next time," or "I will work harder," it becomes "The umpire screwed me" or "My coach sucks," which are similar comments they learned from adults. The eventual result of parents and coaches making excuses for youth's play is the creation of excuse making children. " Responsibility is never taken and kids grow up making excuses for every time things do not go their way. Of course, there may be good reasons for athletes' poor play but it is usually best for adults to keep those to themselves. It is better to accept that the opponent was better that day without making excuses. Saying things like, "Hey, it was just one of those days, hang in there," or "Don't worry about it, you will get them next time" and "I always believe in you" are good post game statements, without giving youth athletes "outs" for poor play.

As mentioned, giving kids an "out" only serves to deflect responsibility, as if outside forces were working against them. Once the excuse making cycle begins it is very hard to change. There are times when kids make excuses on their own or learn to do it from other players. When parents notice this behavior they should stop to it with words that explain that excuse making behavior serve no purpose. Parents and coaches who can accept the outcome of their child's and teams' performances without overanalyzing and without giving their child an out, will help turn their child into responsible people.


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"Playing major league baseball - cool; helping kids - better."
Jack Perconte helps kids and their parents get through the complicated world of youth sports. He shares his playing, coaching and parenting experiences in his books, The Making of a Hitter and Raising an Athlete: How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport. Learn more at:
http://jackperconte.com