10 Tips Sports Parents Should Know to Help Kids Get over Disappointment

Not all kids can be star athletes, even though many parents think their child is a star athlete or will become one. The reality is that most youth athletes will stop playing at a young age. Most youth athletes are average players who experience as much disappointment as they do success in sport. What is most important is that sport parents recognize that situation when kids begin playing youth sports. Parents, who have the proper sport perspective, will have the necessary patience so their kid's sports career is a positive one that sport should be.



Without this sport perspective and patience, disappointment and frustration can easily set in and a young athlete?s season or career can be ruined if sport parents panic when their kids struggle in sports. I have seen many youth athletes give up playing sports because of the lack of parental and coaching patience and perspective. On the other hand, I have seen numerous young athletes reach their potential and have enjoyable sporting experiences because of supportive parents and coaches who display the necessary patience and perspective.



Parents who do not display this patience and perspective create tensions with their kids that often lead to regrets later in life. Parents who understand that all athletes endure disappointing performances often in sport, even the great athletes, have the correct perspective that helps kids mature into positive, mature adults. Additionally, parents, who help players get through the tough times without creating undue tensions, feel good about themselves and their positive role model status. Here are ten tips that adults can use to help youth athletes to avoid excessive pressures and tensions.



Sports parents and coaches should: 




1. Encourage kids to have long-range goals so they don?t feel overwhelming pressure to do well each and every game. For example, telling kids to have the goal of making the high school team is good. This lets kids know that they don?t have to be a star immediately and if they continue working at their skills, making the high school team is a realistic goal. Short-term goals are fine as long as they are general ones that involve their effort level, as opposed to goals that involve performance numbers. For example, having the goal of improving as the season progresses and of working hard are good goals, where trying to reach certain statistics often leads to disappointment that hinder future motivation.




2. Not show own frustration over their player?s performance in front of them. Stay as upbeat as possible and ?cry? away from everyone, if parents feel the need to let out their own emotions. 




3. Give kids a few days totally away from the sport during a rough stretch, if possible,?and keep the talk about the sport to a minimum during this time. Encourage youth athletes to have outside the sport activities and to spend time away from sport with friends.




4. Tell hard working players that their hard work will show up in their results sooner or later, and remind not so hard workers that success only comes with practice.




5. Tell players how much you believe in them and that great sport performance is not everything.




6. Remind them of times they (athletes) did well, after a player has had a little time to get over their disappointment. Advice, given immediately after a game, is not advised when players are apparently very disappointed.




7. Have a bloopers tape on hand to watch. This can provide some laughs and help players realize everyone makes mistakes, even the great players.




8. Try to get players to ?smile? or laugh when on the playing field by using a little humor. This can?relieve tension and help athletes understand that they should not take the game and themselves too serious. An occasional funny line can ease the situation. Also, having a coach who is not very skillful demonstrate a skill can sometimes create humor. Their failure can create a laugh or two for players.




9. Point out little things where the player improved or contributed. False praise - statements that are obviously inaccurate for the situation - is not good but honest appraisal, said in a positive way, is good. 




10. Learn to say, ?Forget about it? or ?hang in there? to your kids after a tough game. It is always best to recognize and emphasize effort over results anyway, especially when it was apparent that they played hard.




Finally, nothing works better to lift a child?s spirits than a pat on the back and a big smile, win or lose. Sport parents and youth coaches who apply these tips will help kids learn to keep athletic success and disappointment in the proper sport perspective.





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"Playing major league baseball - sweet; helping kids, priceless." Jack Perconte combines his playing, coaching and parenting experiences to help parents of athletes get through the challenging world of youth sports. Jack has written two books - The Making of a Hitter and Raising an Athlete: How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport. Jack also blogs to help parents and kids at

http://positiveparentinginsports.com